Post by LonelyArtist on Dec 27, 2008 15:27:36 GMT
So you might notice that I changed my orientation from "N/A" to "Asexual." How long has the term asexual been in use? Not long, I reckon. I remember using it as a pre-teen, having come up with it myself, and lookit! It's already in use!
Anyway, it's on "asexual" because that's how I feel. I feel romantic attraction to people (usually girl, unless it's a REALLY hott recent alumni from my school or his nice sophomore brother), but never sexual attraction. Don't get me wrong, I like the idea of sex, but PEOPLE attracting me like that just doesn't happen.
I'm sure this is "normal," but whatever.
Anyway, about my "lesbian-ness." If I'm sexual at all, it's homosexual because only a few men interest me, not enough for me to call myself bi- or pansexual.
I'm not sure if I should bother coming out. I don't know if I ever want a steady relationship. I'm not ruling marriage out (if I got "married", it would be with a man, as I am religious!), but it's not in the game plan. I think I might adopt a little Chinese girl once I'm grown and settled in Japan (where I plan on moving).
The only person who knows that I might not be straight is my ex-boyfriend. I've always had doubts about myself, but I think he might have confirmed my not-straight-ness! Anyway, I broke up with him (over the internet) because he was annoying me and I didn't want a boyfriend over summer vacation. But then at the next party my friends threw, he cornered me and started asking me all these questions about why I broke up with him. He was a little scary, so I blurted out "It's just that I'm having questions about my sexuality." (This was true, but not why I broke up with him. I'm perfectly content to lie about myself.) He's all "How long is it going to take to clear this up?" I got mad at him and went home.
My mom might know, as I told her my suspicions back in the summer before eighth grade, but she's probably forgotten by now, or thought it was just a phase, as I haven't brought it up since.
Then there's my friend Gabbi. I asked her if she thought I was bi about two days before I asked my mom. But we don't really talk about it, as we're juniors now and it happened so long ago.
I told Alyssa I thought I was bi a while ago, but she's such a ditz, I think she's forgotten. When I told her she said something along the lines of "I've always wanted a gay friend," but she still says that, so she's either forgotten or she meant a male gay friend.
So just about every one has suspicions, but nobody (other than my ex, tee hee) KNOWS.
Then, as you probably know, there's MY issues with coming out. I am religious. But I'm not sure how much of the Bible I take seriously. For example, it used to be a high, high sin to eat the meat of a carnivore, but people eat bears and coyotes and dogs and stuff (not often, but nobody declares it a sin). And God used to wipe out whole cities for homosexuality, but He hasn't done that in a while. So I wonder how much I can get away with. Maybe, for example, I could date a girl but not have sex with her (as I wouldn't want to anyway: asexuality blah blah blah) and still be okay?
Hmp. Well, I suppose there wasn't much of a question in any of that, but if you can find one or just want to state your opinion on this madness, be my guest!
Anyway, it's on "asexual" because that's how I feel. I feel romantic attraction to people (usually girl, unless it's a REALLY hott recent alumni from my school or his nice sophomore brother), but never sexual attraction. Don't get me wrong, I like the idea of sex, but PEOPLE attracting me like that just doesn't happen.
I'm sure this is "normal," but whatever.
Anyway, about my "lesbian-ness." If I'm sexual at all, it's homosexual because only a few men interest me, not enough for me to call myself bi- or pansexual.
I'm not sure if I should bother coming out. I don't know if I ever want a steady relationship. I'm not ruling marriage out (if I got "married", it would be with a man, as I am religious!), but it's not in the game plan. I think I might adopt a little Chinese girl once I'm grown and settled in Japan (where I plan on moving).
The only person who knows that I might not be straight is my ex-boyfriend. I've always had doubts about myself, but I think he might have confirmed my not-straight-ness! Anyway, I broke up with him (over the internet) because he was annoying me and I didn't want a boyfriend over summer vacation. But then at the next party my friends threw, he cornered me and started asking me all these questions about why I broke up with him. He was a little scary, so I blurted out "It's just that I'm having questions about my sexuality." (This was true, but not why I broke up with him. I'm perfectly content to lie about myself.) He's all "How long is it going to take to clear this up?" I got mad at him and went home.
My mom might know, as I told her my suspicions back in the summer before eighth grade, but she's probably forgotten by now, or thought it was just a phase, as I haven't brought it up since.
Then there's my friend Gabbi. I asked her if she thought I was bi about two days before I asked my mom. But we don't really talk about it, as we're juniors now and it happened so long ago.
I told Alyssa I thought I was bi a while ago, but she's such a ditz, I think she's forgotten. When I told her she said something along the lines of "I've always wanted a gay friend," but she still says that, so she's either forgotten or she meant a male gay friend.
So just about every one has suspicions, but nobody (other than my ex, tee hee) KNOWS.
Then, as you probably know, there's MY issues with coming out. I am religious. But I'm not sure how much of the Bible I take seriously. For example, it used to be a high, high sin to eat the meat of a carnivore, but people eat bears and coyotes and dogs and stuff (not often, but nobody declares it a sin). And God used to wipe out whole cities for homosexuality, but He hasn't done that in a while. So I wonder how much I can get away with. Maybe, for example, I could date a girl but not have sex with her (as I wouldn't want to anyway: asexuality blah blah blah) and still be okay?
Hmp. Well, I suppose there wasn't much of a question in any of that, but if you can find one or just want to state your opinion on this madness, be my guest!
