My story, tragedy, or whatever.

[Odian]

Anyway, im assuming that I am supposed to type out some random problem that i have, and i guess i have one that fits.

I have a crush (i would say that its love) on a guy in my grade in high school (Junior). He is about 5'4", and is fairly muscular, with short-ish brown hair and eyes (minus the short). We have two classes together, advance P.E and U.S history. But my love for him is complicated, because i not only like him, but we are almost like rivals. During jeapardy in history, we are on opposing sides and its always the two of us that gets the most points for our team. In P.E, its the exact same way. Anyway, I have redish brown hair, about 6'1", also fairly muscular, with greenish blue eyes. Our likes our pretty similiar because we both like sports and other activities liike Debate.

Anyway, ive liked this person since freshman year when he moved to my school. I dont know what it is that draws me into him, because at first he was skin and bones but I still liked him. Hes put on some muscle, (which makes it better) but i guess that it means that i liked him for his personality first and foremost.

I dont know if he is bi or gay, although I think he is. He reads weird girl books that i wouldnt touch, and the music he listens to makes other people around him question his sexuality. When we are in groups of people he seems to be straight, but then other times when its just me and him, i dont know what to think. He has issues looking at me in the eye, and when he does he blushes and laughs. After debate practices, he would wait for me outside of the computer lab after everyone else left, and then when i did come out, we talked for about two hours, and when i said that i had to get home, he called his mom to come pick him up (parents wont let him get a vehicle yet), which means that he actually wanted to talk to me. He wasnt just trying to waste his time. Sometimes this happens after school (we both have the same 7th period class). He hasnt been out with a girl and is trying to find a date. I dont know what to do, even though i just want to tell him that i like him, cause i dont want try to get to know him better and be dissapointed if he is straight. Anyway, i hoped what i typed made sense.

P.S This is the only person ive felt about in this way. Ive always tried to hide my feelings for people because i didnt like being bi, but this time my love for this person kinda broke the barriers.

[Gamoc]

Awww...you definetely have a better chance with him. He sounds gay. He sounds that he could be straight, also, so I would go with the safe bet that he is bi. I mean, I like a guy in a very similar case, but you sound like you're definetely making more progress with the guy you like more. You'll know when the right time comes to tell him, like we all do. Everyone usually comes out when they know the right time. Just keep being friends with him until then, though. Good luck.

[Odian]

Thanks...

[Gamoc]

Anything else you want to say about him?

[Odian]

Well, i got a call from one of my friends last night. She was talking to him at a SDD meet and he said "Have you ever thought that everyone is bisexual, but only some people actually admit it?" My friend looked at him, and didnt say anything. The funny thing is, that ive thought that exact same thing many times. So im assuming that he is bi, becaue what straight person would say that? Anyway, i think i might call him tonight...

[Gamoc]

That's good, you should. I've always thought that, even before I left my asexual childhood. Everyone should be bisexual, it would really make things a lot less difficult on actual bisexuals/homosexuals.

[Odian]

True...


I dont know if im going to call him though. I dont know what i would say. I mean, ive had a crush on him for three years, and it almost seems too good to be true. Anyway, im probably too big of a chicken to tell him anything. And thats coming from someone that forgot what fear was until he played resident evil 4. Thats an amazing game. Heh, anyway, im getting off topic.

[Gamoc]

It's your blog, you can go as off topic as you want.

I know your pain. I can barely speak to the guy I like, so you're really not alone, but since you guys are friends anyway, you should call him and talk to him. Hey, what's up, cool, so anything cool happen lately, etc....wow, I need to use that advice myself.

[Odian]

Yeah, but how do i bring up the whole bi thing? Or do i just wait until he says something about? Im sick of waiting, to be honest. He gets off work in 5 hours, so i have time to think about it.

[Gamoc]

Why don't you ask him about what your friend said. Ask him if he's ever thought if everyone were clueless as if you knew nothing about him having previously said it.

[Odian]

But.... wouldnt that be kinda coincidental? Seeing as he just said it yesterday, and im he knows that me and (molly is her name) are good friends. Plus, if i said it, he would immediatly know i was bi.

[Gamoc]

Well then tell him Molly said that...or did she mean that to be a secret?

[Odian]

No idea.... I would rather do it more secretive, because if i bring that up at all, he will know something is up. Maybe i will just call him and tell him i am bi straightup and be done with it.

[Gamoc]

That might work, I mean, do you trust him enough for that? Yes, by the sounds of it he seems bi, and who knows, he might come out to you about his own bisexuality. I mean, this is a major chance taker, but life isn't always you know what will happen next, sometimes you have to take risks, if it pushes you back keep pushing forward.

[Odian]

I do trust him enough. Even if he isnt Bi, i know he wouldnt tell anyone else. And i figured that if i told him i was bi, (and he was also) he would come out.

But like you just said, there is a shitload of risks.